September 3, 2025
This job has been the most humbling experience of my professional career. I have felt more like a fraud than ever before. It has brought my flaws to the light, to the surface. All the times I miss obvious things or that I don't read thoroughly or don't proactively ask questions all the places I am not enough have the light of the most powerful of sun's. My insecurities are being opened up and my wounds prodded and poked without the hope of scabbing over. I feel old even, aged out of the professional ladder I was on. Off track in more ways than I can express. I just hope it will mean something. I hope it's bringing. about needed reflection or some other boon I can't yet see.
September 4, 2025
Sometimes life reminds me that the purpose of it is not to suffer. Sometimes I give myself permission to remember without shame or pain or fear. Sometiimes I am able to think about my past without judgement. Sometimes the universe sends the right people to hammer the message home.